On the 24th of May AISNT held a seminar in Darwin titled “The Difficult Conversations Masterclass”. The presenters were top quality: Dr Stephen Brown who has presented often and recently to AISNT and Clinical Psychologist Andrew Fuller. Both are experts in their fields and are not only sought after in Australia but also on the world stage. The day was outstanding and most enjoyable with it being dedicated to the challenge of “Having Difficult Conversations.” The attendees were highly engaged and it was testimony to the importance of the topic with SEDA attending with their entire staff.

There were so many, many things to take from the day but following are a small selection that I considered were thought provoking. I’ll present others in a future Principal Thoughts. The following are from Stephen Brown’s part. The really Hard Hitting one is “The quality of the dialogue determines the culture of the school.” 

• Our best work and hardest work is with people.
• If we don’t transform conflict we transmit it.
• True listening forms Connections. Remember we have two ears and one mouth.
• Your Tool Kit should include: Ponder, Purpose, Person, Principles, Preparation, Process and Progress.

Purpose:

• Do you need to have the conversation? Why?
• What are the implications of your action or inaction?
• How are you feeling about the issue?

Person:

• What do you know about the person’s personality and patterns of Behaviour.

There is great effect in the power of the Question. Last week I had dinner with the person who introduced me to the effectiveness of Socratic questioning. He is a professional Board coach and it was good to discuss the art of questioning with him.

Some questions may include:

What happened?

Who was involved?

When did it take place?

Where did it take place?

Why do you think it happened?

How did it happen? 

• Always remember in a conversation the first 7 words must be exact and count.
• An opening statement is Essential, naming the issue and illustrating with an example.
• In the interaction, it is important to look for common ground.
• Display empathy.
• Make good notes.
• Check in on progress - “How are we going?”

One of the tasks at the seminar was to identify what was one’s “Safe Place”. It was a good exercise and really set the mind moving. Initially, for me it was the bush just outside Alice, but then in discussion it was seen that it could be found in doing something- engrossed and locked from the problems of the world. Mine was playing music each day, which was also like a reward. If I don’t do it I feel deprived and less at ease. As a Principal it is important that you attend to your mental health and indeed have some safe places that aid doing that.

There is more to share but I think that’s enough to absorb for this week. 

Written by Chris Tudor